Things don't seem to lead from one thing into another. I might introduce location more or connect quotes to each other so they seem more like a story.
I allude to what the new slogan means for the university (by saying how much money they spent on it) but don't really tell the listener why they're listening. I could improve on that.
I could also interview people who liked the new slogan to give another opinion and make it more of a story (two sides of a debate).
I also didn't let the listener know Fear the Turtle will still be used, but only for athletics.
A few non-story related issues:
The ambient sound could be improved. Sound from a football game, or people chanting, or a compilation of people saying "unstoppable starts here" could all potentially improve the piece.
Minor handling noises remain a concern.
I could cut the wii fit ambient sound and make the typing noise softer.
UMD J-School "Slice Class" -- Multimedia for Print Journalists
This is the class blog for Journalism 328G/628G, "Special Topics in News Writing and Reporting," where we offer a crash course in audio, photo, and video journalism.
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ReplyDeleteWhat I would do to make this better:
ReplyDeleteThings don't seem to lead from one thing into another. I might introduce location more or connect quotes to each other so they seem more like a story.
I allude to what the new slogan means for the university (by saying how much money they spent on it) but don't really tell the listener why they're listening. I could improve on that.
I could also interview people who liked the new slogan to give another opinion and make it more of a story (two sides of a debate).
I also didn't let the listener know Fear the Turtle will still be used, but only for athletics.
A few non-story related issues:
The ambient sound could be improved. Sound from a football game, or people chanting, or a compilation of people saying "unstoppable starts here" could all potentially improve the piece.
Minor handling noises remain a concern.
I could cut the wii fit ambient sound and make the typing noise softer.