If I could do the piece again, I would have tried to find someone to tell me a story about how their attitude about Halloween changed. For example, when did they realize that they were too old for trick or treating? When did they conclude that Halloween in college was just an excuse for girls to demean themselves and guys to ogle them? Right now, the piece has three people stating how they feel about Halloween, but only one of them really illustrates it with an anecdote.
It's three people talking about a change, but not really demonstrating the change.
It would be interesting to hear someone describe a time when the two attitudes collided, maybe by wearing costume that he or she was really proud of and thought would be really cool, only to find that all the other kids had adopted a more "grown up" attitude and weren't impressed. There must be stories about kids who worked proudly on their Power Ranger costumes while their classmates were preparing their "slutty witch" outfits, for example.
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If I could do the piece again, I would have tried to find someone to tell me a story about how their attitude about Halloween changed. For example, when did they realize that they were too old for trick or treating? When did they conclude that Halloween in college was just an excuse for girls to demean themselves and guys to ogle them? Right now, the piece has three people stating how they feel about Halloween, but only one of them really illustrates it with an anecdote.
ReplyDeleteIt's three people talking about a change, but not really demonstrating the change.
It would be interesting to hear someone describe a time when the two attitudes collided, maybe by wearing costume that he or she was really proud of and thought would be really cool, only to find that all the other kids had adopted a more "grown up" attitude and weren't impressed. There must be stories about kids who worked proudly on their Power Ranger costumes while their classmates were
preparing their "slutty witch" outfits, for example.